Saturday Vows, Round One

Yesterday I attended a Mass of First Vows and Renewal of Profession at the mother house of the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. During my years of philosophy and theology studies in St. Louis, I took classes with several women from this religious community, and another friend from those years joined the Apostles after we both completed our respective degree programs in spring 2009. Attending this celebration had the feeling of a family reunion; I went primarily to support my friend Katie and her two sisters as they professed vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience for the first time.  Yet I also appreciated the opportunity to reconnect with the sisters whom I met in St. Louis, and to meet additional members of this wonderful religious family whose joy and happiness is infectious, and whose devotion to the Church and the people of God is carried out with contagious delight.

A particularly creative friend of the Apostles made clay figurines
resembling each of the women who professed vows.
Marvelously charming.

It was the first of three consecutive Saturdays this month that I'll spend at a celebration of vows; next Saturday, a cousin of mine is getting married; the following Saturday, three Jesuit novices (one of them a high school classmate of mine) will profess their own first vows as religious. The final Saturday of August is move-in day for the Class of 2016 at Holy Cross, which includes the College community's celebration of the Mass of the Holy Spirit to open the new academic year. Looking at a month of momentous Saturdays– followed, God willing, with restful Sundays offering time for rest and reflection– fills me with a great deal of enthusiasm, as well as a desire to consider anew the role of commitments (including, but not limited to, my own religious vows) in my life.

Having lived in the Society of Jesus for nearly eight years, and my vows for nearly six, I've become quite accustomed to, and comfortable in, the rhythms of prayer, work, and community that characterize the Jesuit way of religious life within the Catholic Church. Yet I've become increasingly that these habits are not as fulfilling and as vibrant for me when I approach them in a merely habitual manner. As I strive to restore greater intentionality to my prayer, as I seek thoughtful dialogue within myself and with my office colleagues about the projects and responsibilities we'll each undertake in the coming semester, I find a deeper satisfaction in renewing my connection with the choices I make each day to sustain and vivify the commitments by which I've chosen to live. Rising on a weekday with enough time to exercise, freshen up, pray, and converse with my brothers over breakfast before "facing the day" (as one of the brethren regularly avows when he takes his leave from the table) is a regular, repeated decision that reminds me of my ongoing relationships with myself, my community, and my God. Maintaining a variety of friendships– with Jesuits, with other religious, with friends from a variety of different contexts, periods of my life, and faith backgrounds– expresses a commitment to live with and for others in a way that is mutually constructive, yet also respectful of our respective freedom, commitments, and circumstances that distinguish our unique paths in life.

This takes work, and it doesn't always come easily. I've long been a morning person, yet some of the more poignant, valuable, and even life-changing conversations in which I've participated over the past several months have occurred late at night. I sometimes find it easier to pick up the phone and call a friend than I do to settle into a chair in the chapel and converse with God. There are occasions when I feel the tension between an invitation to spend an evening with good friends my age, and an evening of nourishing fraternal conversation with the men of my community who are my elders by a range of margins. Living my commitments with fidelity, and carrying them out with authenticity, requires creativity, careful thought and discernment, and genuine sacrifice, tailored to each circumstance and relationship.

Conservation Land, Weston MA

I wouldn't have it any other way. The delightful blessings of relationships, the invaluable gift of growing self-knowledge, and the fulfillment of the exchanges associated with genuine generosity all accompany the diligent, laborious, and continuous effort of living the commitments I've made, and embracing all of the opportunities that they offer. These are joys that I sensed everywhere yesterday, and I look forward to experiencing and sharing them anew, and in different forms, throughout the remainder of the month, one day at a time.