Called by Name

While walking to work this morning, I met a student who had been on the Spiritual Exercises earlier this year. Though she was not one of my directees, I greet her when we cross paths on campus, as I do with other Holy Cross students whom I know. Her name is an unusual one, so I've been worried that I wasn't pronouncing it correctly. When I sought some clarification this morning, the following conversation ensued:

Me: "Good morning, V!"

V: "Good morning, Chris!"

Me: "V, have I been pronouncing your name correctly?"

V: "Yes; in fact, I'm impressed you remember my name."

Me: "Well, thanks. Names have long been important to me. Whenever I'm on a retreat, like the Exercises, and people go around introducing themselves on the first night, I make an effort to pay close attention and remember everyone's name. I think it's really important to pray for people by name, and I try to do that as much as I can."

V: "Yeah, it's nice. We [she and other students, I imagine] like being called by name on campus."

Me: "Don't you get that all the time from your friends?"

V: "Not really... people will just say 'Hello!' or maybe wave, but we don't really call each other by name. So it's really nice when someone does."

By this point, we'd been standing in chilly air (about 20 degrees) and a light breeze, with the sun's first rays feebly shining through some gauzy low clouds on the horizon. So we quickly wrapped up our conversation, bidding one another a good day. Yet her comment stays with me, not only calling my attention to the significance of being called by name, but also urging me to consider the effects of an absence of such calls on the fabric of a community.

I've gotten to know many of the professors and staff whose offices are on the same floor as mine, even if only by name and department, and I enjoy opportunities throughout the day for brief chats... passing in the hallway, chatting around the water cooler, stopping by an open door to say hello and catch up on the affairs of life. I tend to greet them by name, but now I'm curious about how often they do the same (either with me or with their colleagues), and I'm going to pay attention over the coming week. Could it be simply a generational difference between professors and staff on the one hand, and V and her fellow students on the other? Is it a more widespread pattern? Or is it just a random effect dependent on individual personalities?

In any case, I'm still intent on remembering as many names as I can, and always grateful for opportunities to forge or sustain a connection by calling (and being called) by name.